What to Expect When You're Dating a Single Parent

There are a lot of misconceptions about single parents in the dating world, and it's really irritating having to dispel them over and over again. If you're considering dating a single parent, there are some things you might want to know ahead of time. Here are few, though admittedly many apply to single moms. If any of you single dads have something to add, please let me know!

Myth: single parents are "easy" or irresponsible
The truth is, we're no "easier" than the average person. Just because we've had a kid doesn't mean we don't keep our legs crossed. If anything, we tend to be a bit more reserved because we know what a HUGE responsibility children are and to many of us, sex = children (didn't we all learn that in Health Class?). Yes, there's birth control, but that's never 100%. So don't just expect us to go home with you on the first (or second, or third) date. And if the single parent is young, don't assume that they had the child illegitimately. Thanks to Tom Leykis, many times I've received notes from people on internet dating sites critisizing me and telling me there's no chance in hell they'd date someone who will open their legs for anyone and get pregnant just to get child support from the father. Yeah, thanks for that. Just because I'm 27 with a 6 year old doesn't mean I was a slut. I was married for a year before my now-ex-husband and I decided to have kids.

Myth: we love to spend hours away from our children
We had kids for a reason: to love another human being and help raise them in this crazy world. Yes, we do enjoy our time away from our children, but lengthy dates or spending the night are costly in more than one way.
1. We are either paying for a babysitter or having family watch our kids. Babysitters aren't cheap these days, so going to a dinner, a movie and then drinks can sometimes cost us a lot. And if it's family watching our kids, we have to be careful not to abuse that, otherwise they may not be willing to watch them again.
2. Spending the night before the relationship has progressed very far can have a negative effect on our children. While we may not tell our kids everything we did the night before, we will have to tell them something. And aside from the seasonal visitors (think the jolly man in winter and bouncing cotton-tail-donning animal in the spring), most of us don't like lying to our children. And having to pay for a sitter or have our family watch the kids for that length of time can make for one heck of a walk-of-shame. Personally, I can't imagine asking my mom to watch my daughter so I can spend the night with a guy. You know how moms can raise that one eyebrow up to their hairline and frown at you so hard you feel your innerds turn to sludge? Yeah, no thanks.
3. While we want to date and spend time out of the house, we need notice. Getting a text asking us to "meet me in 30" will almost always guarantee a "no" in reply. Being responsible for another human being means just that. We can't just drop everything for an impromptu date. Be respectful and plan ahead. Just as most singles have their own busy lives, so do single parents, only we have another person's schedule to consider. Sorry, but helping my daughter build her project for school takes precedence over catching a movie at the last minute.

Myth: single parents are on the hunt for the next mommy/daddy for their child
With the exception of some "hunters" out there, most of us are just looking for an adult companion for ourselves. Yes, it would be nice (sometime in the waaaaay future) for you to have a great relationship with my kid. But for now I'm just dating for myself. It's insulting to read that statment over and over in online dating profiles: "No baby-mamma drama please" or "I want my own kids, not yours." Yes, we are single parents, but we are still human beings looking for love. My daughter, as it is with many other children of single parents, has a steady relationship with her father. She's not looking for another one, and neither am I. We're all dating for the same reason: to love someone and spend our lives with them. Getting to know our kids will happen after the relationship has hit a certain milestone. Speaking of which...

Myth: single parents bring their kids on their dates/make their dates meet their kids before the first date
This is a weird one. I've heard this myth, but I've never met a single parent who actually did this. This is such a bad one on so many levels, two of which are the most important:
1. Even as a single parent, if I went on a date with another single parent and he brought his kid to the bar/coffee house/restaurant/first-date-location-of-choice, I'd be a little freaked and annoyed. So much for "grown-up" conversations, and it would make me wonder if this person has a) no support system to watch his kid (meaning I'd be his only contact to the outside world), b) is so desperate to go on a date that he brought his kid because all of their babysitters were busy, and c) would make me think he is untrustworthy because he didn't tell me he was bringing his kid, leaving me in an awkward state of mind. It's like meeting your date's mom on the first date: intimidating.
2. Kid are impressionable and very much more aware of what's going on than we'd like to admit. While I have explained the dating process to my kid, I don't tell her who I'm dating or introduce her to him until it seems it's going to last. As a matter of fact, the only person she ever knew who I was dating was someone who'd been a great friend of mine ever since my childhood, and he had been hanging out with us for years before. Most kids form instant friendships with people their parents know, and to allow a child to meet a date is just asking for trouble down the road. The child will constantly ask about that person, wanting to see them again (making it super hard for the kid to learn that you are no longer dating that person and they'll never see them again), or the child may begin to resent that person for taking up too much of their parent's time and misbehave so that mommy or daddy can't go out.
The only time I can see this might happen is if both the man and woman are single parents and they each bring along their respective children for a "play date." But even that doesn't usually happen until a few dates down the road. Most parents would want to establish a solid relationship with their date before bringing their kids together. 'Cuz what happens if Bobby accidentally kicks Suzie while he's on the swing? That could be a relationship breaker if both parents get defensive and don't know each other well enough to handle the situation.

Those are all of the myths I can think of right now. But here are some other tips:

• Putting a statement in your online dating profile that says you're looking for single moms is kinda creepy. Yes, I love that there are people out there who are willing to accept me for the parent that I am, but telling me that you prefer dating single moms makes the alarm bells ring in my head. I will always assume the worst (I know, hypocritical, considering my opening statement to this post): that you have a thing for little kids. Just gives me the willies. Stating that you don't mind dating someone who has kids is totally fine, but saying that you prefer it is not fine. It's creepy.
• As a single mom, I usually prefer to drive myself to our meeting place. This way you won't have to meet my daughter and I can leave on short notice if need be; kids get sick or hurt. I'm not about to make you drive me to a hospital if I get a call from the sitter saying my daughter fell and should get stitches. And (here's the paranoid girl in me speaking out) if the date's not going well, I need to be able to get away. I have a child at home I need to think about, and having to spend the next hour with a guy who creeps me out, then have him drive me home is not something I want to think about. I don't naturally assume every guy I meet is a crazy stalker/child abductor, but you can never be too careful. If you don't pick me up for our date, you don't know where I (and my child) live. As a woman, and a single mom, it's just an extra safety measure.
• Yes, our kids come first. Welcome to parenthood. If you need to be the center of attention, you might want to avoid single parents. If our child has homework, a soccer game, dance recital, the flu or something else that impedes on our time together, the child will always win. Sorry. That's just the way it is.
• Dating a single parent takes patience. As long as we've given you clear signals (or a flat-out statement) that we want to continue dating you, just keep asking us out, even if it seems that we say "no" everytime because of prior committments. We'll find a day that works for both of us. If you got mad at your friends because you always wanted to hang out with them while they were at work, you wouldn't be friends for very long. Same goes for single parents. If we say we can't do Thursday nights because we (or our kids) have a standing committment, don't keep asking us to go to dinner and a movie on Thursdays. It goes back to the 2nd myth: we need to plan. If you want to go out this weekend, but I'm busy, work with me to find a day next week or weekend to hang out. Yes, dating a single parent takes work, but so do most other relationships.
• We don't always talk about our kids. Yes, they are likely to come up in the conversation because they are a major part of our lives. But we have other aspects to our personalities too. We work, we have friends and family, we listen to music other than Silly Songs, we watch "grown-up" movies, we don't have our TV tuned to Barney 24/7, and we have interests that we most likely picked up before we became parents. So don't get upset if I relate to something you said by replying with an anecdote about my kid. It's like you telling me a story about a baseball game you went to; if it's part of your life, it's something you're likely to talk about.
• Single moms are not likely to be in the best shape of their lives. Unlike movie stars and supermodels, we didn't have personal trainers to kick our asses back into shape while our nanny watched our children 3 days after giving birth. So if you're expecting us to be a size 0, good luck. About 2% of us will be due to genetics. The rest of us have curves. Curves that our little blessings (kids) gave us. And being a single parent makes it harder to get back into shape because of the demands on our time. So, please be a bit understanding if we don't have 6-pack abs. The free time you have to exercise is the time we're spending with our children.

I think the most important thing about dating a single parent is deciding if dating a single parent is right for you. I hold nothing against men who only want to date non-parents; they know what they want. But if you know I'm a parent and we decide to meet at a bar/coffee house/bowling alley and you tell me you don't date single parents, then what gives? Why waste our time?

I hope this helps a bit. Between dating-horror-story-hearsay and movies and television shows, single parents in the dating world have been trashed a bit. And, please: feel free to ask us single parents questions if you're unsure about what we need in order to make dating easier and more enjoyable for the both of us.

Oops, I Did It Again

Somehow I went on a date with my ex-husband last night. Well, not really, but this guy might as well have been my ex. "Peter" turned out to be just like "Jake:" a salesman. When I arrived at the bar, I apologized for my being a bit late; my church meeting had run later than I expected. He told me that he could save my church money on printing. Um, what? Yeah, he runs an advertising/printing company. His first sentence to me in person was a pitch for his business. Ugh.

He also spent 30 of the 40 minutes I spent at the bar talking about himself. Yes, I know you're supposed to talk about yourself on dates, but he talked himself up so much that I could barely get an word in edgewise and when I did get a chance to speak, he didn't really seem to listen, or at least not absorb what I said.

And he had two friends with him. "Steve" who was 15 years older than me and "John" who is about 60 years older than me. Yep. "Steve" and I made some small talk while "Peter" and "John" talked business and we hit it off pretty well, but then "Peter" came back and "Steve" left for the evening.

I knew going into this date that "Peter" didn't like dating single moms. I actually challenged him on the dating site I met him on; his profile stated, "I do not date women with kids, for I do not have any of my own." Huh? His response to my question why: "For you I will make an exception!" Oh, just for me?!? Awww... Thanks Mr. Guy-I-Just-Met-Online-Today-And-Don't-Know-From-Adam!

It turns out that that line in his profile was the only truthful statement.

"Smoker? No." Liar.
"Do you have a car? Yes." Liar (I had to meet him close to his house because his car was in L.A.; he was very vague as to why it was in L.A.)
"My personality is through the roof." Yeah, in outer space! He only spoke about himself and all the good he's doing for his good friend "John" out of the goodness in his heart, all while maintaining a near-perfect monotone.
"Do not worry I know how to listen!" Yup, to the sound of your own nasal, dull voice.

I did manage to talk about my PC business, which means at least the night wasn't a total bomb; I can include my receipt in my tax write-off for next year. Yup, had to buy my own drinks last night, too.

I think I found a winner.

I wonder if I should put a disclaimer on my dating site profile: Caution - bad date experiences are subject to appearing on my blog, and though your name will be changed to protect your identity, past and future women you date may recognize your personality and/or description. Either bring your A-game or don't come at all.

Hmm... might not be too bad of an idea...

Throwing Up All Over You

There's a saying in business when you're trying to recruit someone: Don't throw up all over them. Meaning don't throw too much information in their face all at once or they'll miss it all and just shut down.

This also seems to be the way meeting new people works. You wouldn't introduce yourself to your spouse's boss this way: "Hi, I'm Michelle, and I'm pro-choice, and I don't care if you're gay or not, and I donated a kidney, I married my ex-husband after a month of dating because I needed the money, and I live with my parents. Nice to meet you."

But why shouldn't we? Don't we think that people should like us for who we are? So why don't we tell people who we are when we first meet them? Why do we "date" first? Do we think that if we slowly ease them into our lives, they'll be more likely to accept us later on when they find out something "taboo" about us?

When I started dating after my divorce, I was coached by friends not to bring up the "whole single mom thing" on the first date. I always defended myself to them: I'm not ashamed of being a single mom, I'm not ashamed of my daughter, why should I lie/omit information? If he didn't want to date a single mom, why should I hide it? That's not fair to him, and it's not productive for me.

So are we afraid that our new friends won't like us? If they don't like us, are they really our friends? Maybe they are, if they choose to ignore that part of our lives they don't like.

Charles Kingsley said,"A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults."

But my faults may not be considered a fault by someone else, or something I consider an attribute may be a fault in someone else's mind. We never know.

I, myself, am a Christian.

And I am pro-choice: I don't think it's my place to say whether or not someone else has a choice.

And I'm pro-marriage: I think people should try to work out their differences, but if divorce needs to happen for the safety and sanity of themselves and others, so be it, and I don't think we should prohibit marriage between any two persons.

And I'm pro-life: I've donated a kidney, I donate blood whenever I can and I've put myself on the bone marrow donor list.

And I think people deserve second chances: I married my ex out of the naivete of youth and pride (I don't need to move back home just because I lost my job; I'll just marry my Marine boyfriend and we'll get the extra money to have our own place and if we end up not loving each other, we'll just get a divorce and move on...).

And I think there's nothing to be ashamed of asking for help: I moved back in with my parents after my separation and divorce in 2005. My daughter and I plan on moving out in the next year or two, but I'm proud of how my life is now: my daughter has three active parents in her life and she's learning more about relationships with people, how different people are interested in different things, and she's learned independence.

But it's not acceptable in our society to present this side of myself when I meet someone new. I'm just supposed to say, "Hi, my name is Michelle. Nice to meet you." Then we play little games while trying to figure out if we want to like this new person or not.

I think I should just get "personal cards" that state my name, contact info, and on the back list 4 or 5 qualities about myself. Then anyone I meet can choose whether or not to strike up a conversation with me. I think it'll save us all some valuable time.

Hanging In There

Another dating site, another bust.

I joined Plentyoffish.com a few weeks ago. It's a bit of a beauty contest, I think. If you don't look like a beauty queen or put body type as "A Few Extra Pounds," then you don't get a lot of hits. Sorry, but having a kid will change your body shape. I didn't have the luxury of getting a personal trainer to kick my butt back into shape 3 days after my daughter was born. And my kidney donation left it uncomfortable to do many sit-ups. So my curves come from love and kindness. But it doesn't let you put that in there. Just "A Few Extra Pounds."

To date, only one man on there has reached out to me. I have reached out to about 5. The first one I spoke to seemed very nice. Past his "party days" and has done volunteer work overseas. He's got knee problems like I do, and he's close to his family. We e-mailed back and forth for a few days before I gave him my number. He called and we talked for a while. It seemed we'd hit it off. We discussed meeting up soon. He said he'd call after Valentine's Day weekend; he was going to visit his mom for the weekend. And here it is, a week after he called, and I haven't heard from him. No e-mails, no phone calls...nothing.

While I don't think a guy should do all the work, nor do I completely subscribe to keeping score in a relationship, I do think that there should be a fair amount of responsibility or sharing in the work that is done. I was the one to e-mail him first. I was the one who gave him my number. I was the one to suggest we meet up, since we'd enjoyed talking online. He called me, and he told me he'd call me again. So, I want to hold him to it. A part of me wants to "be the man" and call him. Another part of me doesn't because it's his turn. And yet another part says not to bother, since he's obviously not interested. I know he didn't fall off the face of the earth; I've seen him online. I just don't like being dropped like a hot potato or ignored. If you're not interested, tell me. Don't leave me guessing what I did wrong. I like to learn from my mistakes, or at least what turned the guy off.

The sarcastic part of me thinks either his mom or one of his buddies told him he doesn't want to get involved with a single mom; thanks to Tom Leykis, a lot of guys out there think single moms are looking for a sugar daddy or are loose women who just want child support to help their shopping addiction. I was married for a year before my (ex) husband and I conceived our daughter. I was married to him for another 2 years before we decided to separate and divorce. I have a full-time job so I can take care of my daughter and have a second part-time job so that I can give her the life experiences she deserves (trips to Disneyland, swimming lessons, dance lessons, toys), all while saving away the most money I can to help her when she goes to college. I don't need someone else's money to do that for me.

But guys don't seem to see that part. They see "Yes" next to the question "Do you have children" and they run away as fast as they can. I'm a person who needs honesty in my life, therefore I'm not going to put "No" as my answer to that question. I know that I don't want to be with a guy who doesn't see me for me, but it's hard on the self-esteem when I haven't met a guy who does see me for me in the almost-three years I've been single. I can't force anyone to want to date a single mom, nor do I want to. But I do want to meet the guys out there who are okay with it, who know that I have interests outside of my child.

Where are they?

Where'd the resume go?

I've been divorced for almost 4 years now. And I can count on one hand how many dates I've been on. I know that it can be hard for a divorced mom at my age to date, especially when there are so many time commitments that are more important. My daughter will always come first, but after she's taken care of, it's hard to find the time to go out and "hunt." So I use dating sites to supplement. I've been on eHarmony for almost 3 years. I've used match.com, chemistry.com and more recently have signed up for plentyoffish.com.

Two of the dates I've been on since my divorce came from dating sites; one from chemistry.com lasted a couple of weeks, but I ended it after discovering that my "match" wanted to focus on the physical aspect of the relationship. He'd thought that since we'd talked online for a few days, we knew each other intellectually and didn't need to work on that part anymore. The other date I had came from eHarmony about 8 months ago. We talked awhile on the site, then decided to meet for a date. We sipped tea, shared a dessert, and talked so long that my mom called and told me she was going to bed and I should come home. :) We had a great time and really hit it off... I thought. I never heard from him again. He never responded to my e-mails or phone calls.

The one thing I've noticed on all of these sites are the lack of effort many men put into their profiles. I can't say if women do the same thing, since I'm only interested in dating men and therefore never see the profiles of other women. But a lot of the men I'm "matched" up with don't seem to spend any time on their profiles at all. I can always tell in 5 seconds looking at the profile if I'm going to communicate at all with the person. Here's my checklist of pet-peeves when it comes to your online "resume" (as I call it):

1. Capitalize your name.
2. Don't use all caps. It's bad typing etiquette and it hurts my eyes.
3. Use punctuation. It's really hard to tell where your sentences start and stop.
4. Use spell check. Really, how hard is it to click the little check mark?
5. Answer all the questions, and use complete sentences. "Brother" is not a proper answer to "Who is the most influential person in your life and why?"
6. Don't try to be too funny. If you put that you are perfect in every way and you make fun of stereotypical girls, it's really hard to tell if you're joking or being serious.
7. Treat your profile as a resume. If you wouldn't want a prospective employer to see something like this, what makes you think you'll catch a wife this way?
8. Don't put "I don't know what to write" anywhere. If you'd spend more than 5 minutes on it, you could probably figure out an answer.
9. Don't include camera phone shots of you without a shirt in the bathroom mirror. Seriously. If I wanted a grainy, dark lit, poorly taken picture of some one's torso, I'd switch over to the cable channel we don't subscribe to and try to watch the movie through the static.

And these are just the basic ones. I have other things I look for, but for my own preferences (must be a reader, must be family oriented, etc.).

Maybe I'm too picky. Is it too much to ask for a guy whose handwriting I can read and actually paid attention in English class, who knows how (and likes) to cook something other than mac & cheese, who enjoys learning on their free time, who knows how to have a good time without insulting other people or being rude, who doesn't spend as much time watching football or playing video games as possible, who appreciates and takes care of his possessions, who likes kids, who can live without his cell phone for 48 hours, who knows that wearing holey jeans and an old T-shirt isn't appropriate except when working around his own house...

I've said it before, and I'll admit it again: I wish I could find a guy like my dad. My mom is a very lucky woman.

Whatever happened to first impressions? Thinking ahead? Being respectful? Wanting to improve oneself? Probably just wishful thinking... Or do I just have to trudge through the trenches to find my pearl?

I'm just dating you because I like your family...

One of the most commonly heard things when you're a single mom trying to date is, "I don't think I could be a dad right now." When I go out on dates (few and far between), I tell my dates up front that I'm a mom. Because, to be honest, if they don't want to date a mom, I don't want to date them. It's a waste of my time. I don't hold anything against people who don't date parents; I was one of them for a while when I first decided to date again. Sometimes I still feel that way. It's hard to date a single parents because of the kids' schedules, our personal schedules, and custody agreements. My one attempt at dating a single dad didn't last long; we never got to see each other. We're still friends, but we aren't trying to force the relationship. Then there's the ex factor.

Most often, a single parent is in contact with the ex. Custody exchanges, child support, football games, dance recitals, holidays, etc. And the boyfriend or girlfriend of the single parents almost always inevitably meets the ex and after a long courtship with their significant other, may have to deal with the ex during the above mentioned occurrences. This can create stress on the relationship because the ex is always "there," whether physically or mentally, sometimes leaving the boyfriend/girlfriend feeling that they are being compared to the ex. Or that the ex is measuring them up, feeling a bit jealous of the relationship.

In some cases, like mine, this never happens. I only see my ex 4 times a year: when I take my daughter to and from the airport for visitation during the summer and for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Other than that, it's minimal phone contact. My ex lives a few states away; there's no running into him at a concert or having him for dinner for the holidays. Yet, he's still a father to our daughter. My daughter has never confused anyone else for her father. She knows who her daddy is, who her grandpa's are, and who her friends and family are. There's no denying that she knows who is who and understands those ties.

So why has every man I've gone out with a few times who isn't a single dad given me this line: "I don't think I can be a father right now."? Did I state in my personal ad or opening line at our first date that I was looking for a replacement daddy and I want to get married tomorrow? No. All I did was give you a chance at the very beginning to gracefully bow out. I don't date to find my daughter's next daddy. She already has one. I date for me. Of course, I want my significant other to love my daughter for who she is and treat her like his own child, but I don't expect him to adopt her; she's still loved and cared for by her daddy. And I don't expect my boyfriend to love my daughter immediately, just as I don't expect him to fall in love with me at first sight. Relationships take work and time, whether it's a relationship heading for marriage, or a relationship with a friend or child.

Is it too much to expect that people know what they want before they dive into a relationship? I don't mean what colors you want for your wedding or how many rooms you want in your house. I mean, can you date a single mom? Can you have a relationship with a woman and her child? Can you work to develop that relationship?

If not, tell me up front. Don't tell me weeks or months down the road that you can't date me because you can't be a dad.

I date for myself. I don't expect you to date me just because you want to be my kid's dad. Just like I'm not dating you because your mom and I get along.

Figure out what you want before you waste another person's time and efforts. It's not bad to not want to date a single parent. It is bad to string them along while you try to decide whether you want to date them or not.

Welcome to me

I will admit this right off the bat: I know life is easier for me than many other single parents. But I don't want to discredit myself and say that life as a single mom is a cake-walk. My daughter and I live with my parents in the home I grew up in. I live rent-free and my parents do most of the grocery shopping. And yet I still feel the strain of bringing up my daughter without the support of a spouse. I love living with my folks, not just for monetary reasons, but because my daughter gets to spend so much time with her grandparents. She loves greeting them when they come home and covering them with hugs and kisses at bedtime. They enforce the rules that I have for my daughter and she respects them the way she does me, yet she knows that they are her grandparents and I am her mother.

My ex-husband and I are still on good speaking terms, so I won't bad-mouth him here. I will, however, post menial complaints just to vent my frustration. But to keep the peace and maintain my daughter's emotional stability, I never say a harsh word about my ex if it could come back to my daughter. For that reason, if I mention my ex, I will use the pseudonym "Jake." "Jake" lives in another state, so every summer, my daughter, "Em," visits him for 5-6 weeks. She also visits him on Thanksgiving every other year, and Christmas the alternate years. He calls her about once a month, and if she ever wants to call him, we almost always end up leaving a message on his voicemail. But more often than not, when she says "I want my daddy" or "I miss my daddy," it's because she's trying to get out of picking up her toys or brushing her teeth. I'll blog about how we deal with that another time.

I work full-time and make decent money...if I was just supporting myself. However, because in addition to car payments, insurance, gas for my car and my cell phone bill, I also have my daughter's pre-kindergarten tuition, dance lessons, swim classes and her clothes, having our own place isn't a reality. My take-home pay after taxes, 401(k), health insurance, and life insurance is enough to afford a studio apartment for my daughter and I, if only we didn't need to eat or need electricity. Such is the life of living in Orange County. When I was going through my divorce, my parents offered to let my daughter and me live with them until I could find a place of my own. Three years later, they've seen the prices of housing go up and would rather have me here with them than living in a scary part of town where I need three deadbolts. So, rather than have a place of my own, I live with my parents and save money.

I've thought about moving out of Orange County, possibly out of California. But my family is here. My church is here. It was hard enough moving out of state to be with my then-husband and his family. The only people I knew were his immediate family. When we decided that we were getting divorced, "Jake" told me to move back with my family, that he knew how much I loved and missed and needed them. My family and my church are my support system, and I don't know where I would be without them. I have a few friends across the country, but to uproot myself again would be hard, and it would be especially tough on "Em." The only life she knows is here in Orange with my parents and me. We moved back home during the divorce when she was just 16 months old; she has no memory of "Jake" and I being married and living together. This house we live in is her world, and to take her away from her family and church and friends at this age would upset her whole balance.

I've dated two men in the 3 years since my divorce, each for only a couple of months. I find it hard to date when my life revolves around "Em." I work, bring "Em" home, help get dinner ready, put "Em" to bed, then I'm just plain tired. And since I live with my folks, I do have live-in babysitters, but I try not to ask them to watch my daughter more than a couple of times a month, and when my part-time job has me out a few nights a month, it's hard to get out. And it's not like I'm the best pick in town. How would my personal ad run? "Divorced mom of one seeks single guy to be available whenever I am, but doesn't expect me to be available when he is. Must love kids that aren't his and must want to come second in priority." Yeah, not so much. I'm trying to believe that when I'm supposed to be with the right guy, I'll meet him.

Well, it's time I headed to bed. My hope is to post once a week. It might be more if I have a particularly hard day.