Thursday, August 6, 2009

I'm going to protect her as best I can...


...Even if that means pissing off my ex-husband.

This year, for her summer visitation with her daddy, "Em" went to Washington by car instead of airplane. Her paternal grandparents took her up there, and her daddy will bring her back down. For as long as we've been discussing her return (since before she even left), "Jake's" sister "Alice" was going to come down with them and we were all going to go to Disneyland together when they return.

Yesterday I got to speak to "Em" on the phone (YAY!!) and then talked to "Jake" about the details about their return. They're leaving on Friday late afternoon/evening and should be in Orange by Saturday night. They may drive through the night, they may stop in Oregon for the night before resuming the drive Saturday morning. "Em" will stay with "Jake" and "Alice" at their motel until Monday night, when she'll come home after Disneyland.

When I asked "Jake" if "Alice" was going with us to Disneyland, he said, "No, 'Alice' can't come." That was it. I prodded further, asking if it was going to be just him and "Em" then. No, it wasn't going to be just the two of them. "Jake's" mom's best friend's fiance was coming with them.

WHAAATTT?!?! A man I've never met and Em's only known for four weeks, staying in a motel room with my daughter for 3 nights?!? Excuse the language, but HELL NO!!

Now, I didn't say it like that to "Jake," but I did tell him (as my mom said last night, "Like Simon Cowell, the truth but with no diplomacy") that I don't know how well "Jake" knows this man, but I don't know him and that he was going to have to get his own motel room because I wasn't going to let him sleep in the same room as my daughter. My FIVE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER!

Both my mom and my dad agreed that I could have said that in a nicer way, to not sound like I was demanding "Jake" to get a separate room from the man, and that I really don't have a say in what "Jake" does during his visitation with "Em."

I kind of see their point, but my instinct says, "No, I'm right." "Jake" may still share legal custody (getting to make decisions about her care) of our daughter with me, but excuse me, I'm the one who is raising her. Not him. He sees her a few weeks every year, by HIS choice! He doesn't want to raise his own kid, what gives him the right to change plans on me WITHOUT TELLING ME UNTIL TWO DAYS BEFORE THE TRIP, and what in his history gives him the right to make the decision to have a stranger sleep in the same room as my daughter? This is the same man who let my daughter, when she was THREE-YEARS-OLD watch the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie! I love that movie, but it is in no way appropriate for a three-year-old to watch. A rating of PG means that as a parent you need to use your judgement before letting your child watch that movie. Sorry, but that judgement was lacking then, and I personally think it's lacking now. I have half a mind to take tomorrow off and fly up to WA to pick up "Em" and spare "Jake" the drive down, just so I know she's safe.

I may have not been diplomatic in telling "Jake" that the man traveling with him and "Em" is not allowed to sleep in the same room as my daughter, but I will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to protect my daughter. And if that means he's pissed off at me, so be it.

My fearless child, friends and I on Tower of Terror at DCA

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